¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are Social networking sites good for our society?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-10 730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?" . I think social networking sites is bad for our society. First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays. I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram. The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids. For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years. Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule. A case in point is the witch hunt.
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these meaningful answers. Let us discuss further in our class. See you!
--Teacher Anji



Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?"
>> CORRECT
I think social networking sites is bad for our society.
>>I think social networking sites are bad for our society.

First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays.
>> First, addiction to social networking is a very serious and controversial problem nowadays.
I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram.
>> I'm sure that you know YouTube and Instagram
.
The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids.
>> The addiction to their short-form content has a bad influence on young students or kids.
For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
>> CORRECT
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
>> 
Second, the meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule.
>> CORRECT
A case in point is the witch hunt.

>> CORRECT
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.
>> In conclusion, we have to find solutions to these problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138958 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 909
138957 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138956 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138955 Children\'s using cell phone ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 4
138954 Organic food ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 743
138953 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 3
138952 2024.08.02 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 759
138951 Do you enjoy making snacks at home, or do you prefer buying them... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 819
138950 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 568
138949 Describe your hometown ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 671
138948 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138947 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138946 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138945 Military policies ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 671
138944 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138943 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 3
138942 Why do you think it is so difficult for people to give up and... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138941 Has food ever made you sick? What happened? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138940 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 0
138939 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-04 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04