¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are Social networking sites good for our society?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-10 737

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?" . I think social networking sites is bad for our society. First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays. I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram. The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids. For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years. Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule. A case in point is the witch hunt.
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these meaningful answers. Let us discuss further in our class. See you!
--Teacher Anji



Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?"
>> CORRECT
I think social networking sites is bad for our society.
>>I think social networking sites are bad for our society.

First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays.
>> First, addiction to social networking is a very serious and controversial problem nowadays.
I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram.
>> I'm sure that you know YouTube and Instagram
.
The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids.
>> The addiction to their short-form content has a bad influence on young students or kids.
For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
>> CORRECT
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
>> 
Second, the meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule.
>> CORRECT
A case in point is the witch hunt.

>> CORRECT
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.
>> In conclusion, we have to find solutions to these problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138923 July 31th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 985
138922 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 577
138921 (2) investment in the art ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 578
138920 (1) investment in the arts, such as music and theatre ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 2
138919 The food ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 664
138918 Speaking what is in mind ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 5
138917 What is your dream company to work for? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 1059
138916 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 4
138915 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 3
138914 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 3
138913 What challenges do you face when planning a family gathering,... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 891
138912 Order food in English ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 686
138911 What are some popular American food trends or dishes that... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 739
138910 How well do you work with people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 761
138909 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138908 Do you think time moves slowly or quickly? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138907 8/1 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138906 What makes you sleepy? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 892
138905 Final remarks of \" Should homework be banned?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 659
138904 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 667

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04