¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are Social networking sites good for our society?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-10 726

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?" . I think social networking sites is bad for our society. First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays. I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram. The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids. For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years. Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule. A case in point is the witch hunt.
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these meaningful answers. Let us discuss further in our class. See you!
--Teacher Anji



Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?"
>> CORRECT
I think social networking sites is bad for our society.
>>I think social networking sites are bad for our society.

First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays.
>> First, addiction to social networking is a very serious and controversial problem nowadays.
I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram.
>> I'm sure that you know YouTube and Instagram
.
The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids.
>> The addiction to their short-form content has a bad influence on young students or kids.
For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
>> CORRECT
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
>> 
Second, the meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule.
>> CORRECT
A case in point is the witch hunt.

>> CORRECT
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.
>> In conclusion, we have to find solutions to these problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138978 Parental Agreement Marriage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138977 bachelor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1
138976 Casanova ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1
138975 homework ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138974 The best way to give up smoking ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 840
138973 What do you think are your best personality traits ¹Ú*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 3
138972 Are there any types of seafood you dislike or avoid? What is it... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1033
138971 Boracay ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 661
138970 What was it like growing up in your hometown? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 818
138969 Do you like your major? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138968 2024.08.05 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 687
138967 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 2
138966 Me ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 678
138965 Unforgettable memory with my friends. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 694
138964 August 2nd homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 731
138963 Do you think mobile telephones are dangerous in any way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 840
138962 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 837
138961 Who do you admire, and how do they inspire you to be better? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 2
138960 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 873
138959 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04