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3/24 homework

윤정현/2025-03-24

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I feel it’s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she has some special ideas to be successful in his/her field. Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as a doctor, but also as an entrepreneur. They usually get items related to medical devices or drugs for their business. I have no idea to be an entrepreneur in the near future. However, I want to run my business someday. For the dream, I would achieve more as an head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Good morning, Dr. Stella!

I could not agree more. Being an entrepreneur means you need to oversee all the details pertaining to the business from finance, purchase, and all other aspects.

If you could also be an entrepreneur someday, you have to multi-task and I am certain that you will be able to carry out these functions pretty well.

I have just a few suggestions in grammar below. Take note of the differences and make sure that you get them correctly on your next composition. You are still very good at writing, keep up the good work!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I feel it’s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she has some special ideas to be successful in his/her field.
>> I feel it’s so challenging to become an entrepreneur, because he/she needs some special ideas to be successful in his/her field.

Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as a doctor, but also as an entrepreneur.
>> Correct!
Or: Nowadays, I can see several people who show great achievements not only as doctors, but also as entrepreneurs.

They usually get items related to medical devices or drugs for their business.
>>  Correct!

I have no idea to be an entrepreneur in the near future.
>> Correct!
Or: I have no idea on how to be an entrepreneur in the near future.

However, I want to run my business someday.
>> Correct!

For the dream, I would achieve more as an head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.
>> For the dream, I would achieve more as a head and neck surgeon, and find new ideas to help patients more effectively.

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