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영작교정 첨삭 서비스
Talk about the most extreme activity that you've tried.
박순호/2025-03-10
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I used to enjoy many kinds of rides before I turned 40.
When my dayghters were young, I had a lot of fun riding roller coasters and pirate ships with them at the amusement park.
When I was serving as an army officer almost 35 years ago, I even experienced parachute and rock climbing training. They were mandatory for all officers. at that time, I wasn't scared of parachuting down from the sky.
And when I went on my honeymoon to Pattaya, Thailand in 1995, I also enjoyed parasailing and jet skiing.
However, I developed a fear of heights after I turned 40.
Some of my friends told me that they also developed a fear of heights, although I don't know why.
Now, I even hesitate to ride cable cars because I'm scared of them.
When I traveled to Vietnam last October, I had to take a cable car to climb a high mountain and it was really scary.
I envy you for liking extreme sports.
I really recommend you to try extreme sports before you develope a fear of heights.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for sharing.
I guess it has something to do with age.
Though I'm not sure.
In my case, I'm interested in bungee jumping, however, I'm not sure if my body can take it.
I have a little problem with my health though it's not really considered a heart disease.
Anyway, I really want to try sky diving.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I used to enjoy many kinds of rides before I turned 40.
Thank you for sharing.
I guess it has something to do with age.
Though I'm not sure.
In my case, I'm interested in bungee jumping, however, I'm not sure if my body can take it.
I have a little problem with my health though it's not really considered a heart disease.
Anyway, I really want to try sky diving.
_T. SHAY^^
***
I used to enjoy many kinds of rides before I turned 40.
>>Correct
OR: I enjoyed various kinds of rides in my younger years.
When my dayghters were young, I had a lot of fun riding roller coasters and pirate ships with them at the amusement park.
>>When my daughters were young, I had a lot of fun riding the roller coasters and pirate ships with them at the amusement park.
When I was serving as an army officer almost 35 years ago, I even experienced parachute and rock climbing training.
OR: I enjoyed various kinds of rides in my younger years.
When my dayghters were young, I had a lot of fun riding roller coasters and pirate ships with them at the amusement park.
>>When my daughters were young, I had a lot of fun riding the roller coasters and pirate ships with them at the amusement park.
When I was serving as an army officer almost 35 years ago, I even experienced parachute and rock climbing training.
>>Correct
OR: 35 years ago, while serving in the military, I even underwent parachute and rock climbing training.
They were mandatory for all officers.
OR: 35 years ago, while serving in the military, I even underwent parachute and rock climbing training.
They were mandatory for all officers.
>>Correct
OR: All officers had to go through such training.
OR: All officers had to go through such training.
at that time, I wasn't scared of parachuting down from the sky.
>>At that time, I wasn't scared of parachuting from the sky.
And when I went on my honeymoon to Pattaya, Thailand in 1995, I also enjoyed parasailing and jet skiing.
>>Correct
OR: In addition, I also tried parasailing and jet skiing during my honeymoon trip to Pattaya, Thailand in 1995.
However, I developed a fear of heights after I turned 40.
OR: In addition, I also tried parasailing and jet skiing during my honeymoon trip to Pattaya, Thailand in 1995.
However, I developed a fear of heights after I turned 40.
>>Correct
OR: Things changed after I turned 40. I suddenly became scared of heights.
Some of my friends told me that they also developed a fear of heights, although I don't know why.
OR: Things changed after I turned 40. I suddenly became scared of heights.
Some of my friends told me that they also developed a fear of heights, although I don't know why.
>>Correct
OR: Some of my friends had the same experience, although we don't know exactly why.
Now, I even hesitate to ride cable cars because I'm scared of them.
OR: Some of my friends had the same experience, although we don't know exactly why.
Now, I even hesitate to ride cable cars because I'm scared of them.
>>Correct
OR: Now, I can't even ride cable cars because of the same reason.
When I traveled to Vietnam last October, I had to take a cable car to climb a high mountain and it was really scary.
OR: Now, I can't even ride cable cars because of the same reason.
When I traveled to Vietnam last October, I had to take a cable car to climb a high mountain and it was really scary.
>>When I traveled to Vietnam last October, I had to take a cable car to climb a high mountain, and it was really scary.
OR: During my trip to Vietnam last October, I had to take a cable car to go to a high mountain. It was really scary.
I envy you for liking extreme sports.
I envy you for liking extreme sports.
>>Correct
OR: I envy you for being interested in extreme activities.
I really recommend you to try extreme sports before you develope a fear of heights.
OR: I envy you for being interested in extreme activities.
I really recommend you to try extreme sports before you develope a fear of heights.
>>I really recommend you to try doing extreme activities before you develop a fear of heights.
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