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Which do you prefer; traditional or medern medicine? Why?

이지윤/2025-03-07

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think I prefer modern medicine as a person who has experienced modern medicine a lot rather than traditional medicine. Modern medicine identifies and diagnoses diseases that were not known in the past with cutting-edge equipment. In addition, I think it is an essential part for busy modern society as it can quickly detect and diagnose diseases. However, there is a disadvantage in that new diseases that did not exist in the past have to be created and contain techniques or drugs. And becasue using a lot of machines causes unexpected errors, it may make people distrust each other.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello! 

Thank you for submitting your answer to me. I totally agree with your essay. I think these days, modern medicine is just really way more advanced than the traditional one. 
I hope that the continuous development of medicines and machines will continue smoothly, as you're right; sometimes there are unexpected issues that could arise. 

~ Teacher Gina



I think I prefer modern medicine as a person who has experienced modern medicine a lot rather than traditional medicine.
>> I think I prefer modern medicine over traditional medicine since I have experienced it frequently.

Modern medicine identifies and diagnoses diseases that were not known in the past with cutting-edge equipment.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Modern medicine uses cutting-edge equipment to identify and diagnose diseases that were previously unknown.

In addition, I think it is an essential part for busy modern society as it can quickly detect and diagnose diseases.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Additionally, I believe modern medicine is essential for today’s fast-paced society because it can quickly detect and diagnose diseases.

However, there is a disadvantage in that new diseases that did not exist in the past have to be created and contain techniques or drugs.
>> However, a drawback is that modern medicine must constantly develop treatments and drugs for newly emerging diseases.

And becasue using a lot of machines causes unexpected errors, it may make people distrust each other.
>> Additionally, relying heavily on machines can lead to unexpected errors, which may cause people to lose trust in the medical system.
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