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second homework

최서연/2024-10-11

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
After graduating from a university, there are many companies where you can get a job. In addition, a graduate degree proves that I have some expertise in one major. But in my opinion, if there is a clear reason why you do not want to go to a university, I don't think you need to go. However, I think if there is not any preference about obtaining a university degree, you had better go because it will provide you various experiences.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Seo Yeon!~
In the real world, having a degree is advantageous. Most employers prefer candidates who have completed their university education or higher. Once we start looking for work, we will realize how important education is. Thank you for sharing your perspective ^_^ 
Chammy
After graduating from a university, there are many companies where you can get a job.
OR
>> After graduating from university, you can find work in a variety of industries.
In addition, a graduate degree proves that I have some expertise in one major.
OR
>> Furthermore, a graduate degree attests to the level of proficiency in a certain field.
But in my opinion, if there is a clear reason why you do not want to go to a university, I don't think you need to go.
Or
>>However, I don't think you have to attend a university if you have a good reason not to.
However, I think if there is not any preference about obtaining a university degree, you had better go because it will provide you various experiences.
>>However, I think if there is no preference for obtaining a university degree, you had better go because it will provide you with various experiences.
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