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If I could be reborn as an animal...

이강임/2024-10-02

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I'm so happy just imagining that I can fly in the sky like a bird, swim in the water like a fish. What a wonderful thing. I love both of them. but I have to choose, I choice is swim. As I told you, I've enjoyed diving before. At that time, I was into a water world. I felt that I'm in the space and all organism, even rocks seemed welcoming me. I never forgot that experience yet. So I could be reborn as an animal, I wanted to be a swimming animal like dolphin.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, ! ^-^ Good evening!

Thank you so much for this composition. I've read it well and I have made some modifications.

In my case, I would prefer to be reborn as a bird. I'd like to travel to a variety of destinations without having to worry about things like flights and transportation.

Also, the idiom "to fly like a bird" refers to the freedom to do anything you want.

I will see you later in class!

__T. Mayleen :)

I'm so happy just imagining that I can fly in the sky like a bird, swim in the water like a fish.

>>> I'm so happy just imagining that I can fly in the sky like a bird and swim in the water like a fish.
What a wonderful thing.

>>> CORRECT
I love both of them. but I have to choose, I choice is swim.
As I told you, I've enjoyed diving before.
At that time, I was into a water world.

>>> I love both of them, but I have to choose, so my choice is to swim.

As I told you, I've enjoyed diving before.

At that time, I was so into the water world.

I felt that I'm in the space and all organism, even rocks seemed welcoming me.

>>> I felt that I'm in space, and all organisms, even rocks, seemed to be welcoming me.

I never forgot that experience yet.

>>> I haven't forgotten that experience yet.

So I could be reborn as an animal, I wanted to be a swimming animal like dolphin.

>>> So if I could be reborn as an animal, I wanted to be a water animal like a dolphin.