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What's your thought on vending machines in elementary schools?

차유진/2024-08-20

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think it's good because when students thirsty they can buy a drink and water. students can drink it when they don't have water. And Teachers can drink a coffee.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Here's another corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. See you tomorrow! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                            

                                       What's your thought on vending machines in elementary schools?


I think it's good because when students thirsty they can buy a drink and water. 
>> I think it's good because students can buy a drink and water when they are thirsty. 

students can drink it when they don't have water.
>> Students can drink beverages from the vending machine when they don't have their own water. 

And Teachers can drink a coffee.
>> And teachers can drink coffee. 
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