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homework

김유진/2024-08-15

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

In my opinion, entering college is important because, First, we can study what we like and interested in it. Second, we can learn communicating and include in society. Lastly, It have more chances to get job when you graduate college

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Eugene,
Thank you for writing your essay. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^

In my opinion, entering college is important because,

>> In my opinion, entering college is important because of the following;

First, we can study what we like and interested in it.

>> First, we can study what we like and are interested in.

Second, we can learn communicating and include in society.

>> Second, we can learn communication and be included in the society.

Lastly, It have more chances to get job when you graduate college.

>> Lastly, it can provide more chances to get a job after graduation.