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One of the most memorable times with my mother was when my brother and I were alone at home.

김민주/2024-07-31

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
We were 7 and 10 years old, living on a high floor of a building. The lock on the main door was very stiff and difficult to unlock, even for an adult. Despite being told not to touch the lock, I was eager to challenge myself and ended up locking the door but couldn’t unlock it, no matter how hard I tried. My grandma was visiting us but couldn’t get in and waited for over two hours outside our apartment. She called a locksmith who tried to unlock the door through the newspaper slot but failed. When my mother came home from work, she couldn’t do anything either and had to call 911. The paramedics arrived with a fire truck and ladder, climbed up to the 16th floor, and I opened a window for them. I mention this story because it’s the moment I felt most sorry for my mother. After a long day at work, she came home to this stressful and frustrating situation, and I felt terrible for causing her so much trouble. This experience taught me the importance of listening to my parents.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, MJ! I guess you learned your lesson the hard way from this story. Thank you for sharing such a memorable experience from your childhood. Enjoy your day! ^^
~T. Jewel
One of the most memorable times with my mother was when my brother and I were alone at home.
>>One of the most memorable times with my mother was when my brother and I were alone at home.
We were 7 and 10 years old, living on a high floor of a building.
>>When we were 7 and 10 years old, we lived on a high floor of a building.
The lock on the main door was very stiff and difficult to unlock, even for an adult.
>>The lock on the main door was very stiff and difficult to unlock, even for an adult.
OR
>>The main door’s lock was so stiff and difficult to unlock that even adults struggled with it.
Despite being told not to touch the lock, I was eager to challenge myself and ended up locking the door but couldn’t unlock it, no matter how hard I tried.
>>Despite being told not to touch the lock, I was eager to challenge myself and ended up locking the door. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t unlock it.
My grandma was visiting us but couldn’t get in and waited for over two hours outside our apartment.
>>My grandma was visiting us but couldn’t get in and ended up waiting outside our apartment for over two hours.
She called a locksmith who tried to unlock the door through the newspaper slot but failed. 
>>She called a locksmith, who tried to unlock the door through the newspaper slot but was unsuccessful.
Then my mother came home from work, she couldn’t do anything either and had to call 911.
>>When my mother came home from work, she couldn’t open the door either and had to call 911.
The paramedics arrived with a fire truck and ladder, climbed up to the 16th floor, and I opened a window for them.
>>The paramedics arrived with a fire truck and ladder, climbed up to the 16th floor, and I opened a window to let them in.
I mention this story because it’s the moment I felt most sorry for my mother.
>>I mention this story because it was the moment I felt the most sympathy for my mother.
After a long day at work, she came home to this stressful and frustrating situation, and I felt terrible for causing her so much trouble.
>>After a long day at work, she came home to this stressful and frustrating situation, and I felt terrible for causing her so much trouble.
This experience taught me the importance of listening to my parents.
>>This experience taught me how important it is to listen to my parents.
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