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What do you think of Korean men serving in the military?

차진혁/2024-05-16

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think Korean men serving in the military is very proud, because my grandfather and my father done well. But I don't like some bad officers in the military. Some peoples think the period is lost time, but I think it is very worthy.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello again, Jimmy!

Here's another edited essay. Please take a look at the revisions and alternative expressions used, such as I believe/I think, etc. Good night and catch you tomorrow!


Cheers,
Jean~~




                             What do you think of Korean men serving in the military?


I think Korean men serving in the military is very proud, because my grandfather and my father done well.
>> I think Korean men serving in the military are very proud because my grandfather and my father did well.
>> OR: I believe Korean men serving in the military is something to be proud of because my grandfather and my father did it. 

But I don't like some bad officers in the military.
>> OR: But I hate some abusive military officers. 

Some peoples think the period is lost time, but I think it is very worthy.
>> Some people think the period they spend in the military is lost time, but I think it is very worthwhile.
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