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장지혁/2024-02-21

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think experiance is so important. And students don't have time since they are middle school. They may have time but they have to focus on their class. They can have time before middle school. I think learning instrument is good experiance in childhood.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Henry!
I agree that experience is valuable, and I understand the challenges students face with time constraints. It does seem like childhood is an ideal time for learning an instrument to gain valuable experience.
~ Teacher Maxine

I think experiance is so important. 
>> I think experience is very important. 

And students don't have time since they are middle school. They may have time but they have to focus on their class. 
>> Students often lack time once they reach middle school as they need to focus on their classes. 

They can have time before middle school. 
>> They may have time before middle school, though. 

I think learning instrument is good experiance in childhood.
>> I believe learning an instrument is a valuable experience in childhood.

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