¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned from a book or a movie?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-02-18 194

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I learned the importance of moral standard in simple day by watching a movie which is shown the story of Shohei Othani who plays baseball in LA Dodgers.
He picks up trashes as soon as realizes them on the street.
He believes that he gathers other's luck, although someone can comprehend them just a trash.
His teach makes me pick up trashes on the street and I become to think in terms of my luck.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
Thank you for your effort today.
I can see form your writing that you need to widen your vocabulary.
You have basic knowledge of sentence structure and that's a good start.
Now, we just need to make sure that you are familiar with the right terms for the right ideas.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I learned the importance of moral standard in simple day by watching a movie which is shown the story of Shohei Othani who plays baseball in LA Dodgers.
>> I learned the importance of moral standards on a simple day when watching a movie which showed the story of Shohei Othani who plays baseball for the LA Dodgers.
He picks up trashes as soon as realizes them on the street.
>> He picks up trash when he sees it on the street.
He believes that he gathers other's luck, although someone can comprehend them just a trash.
>> He believes that by doing so, he can gather others' luck while some people would just see it as trash.
His teach makes me pick up trashes on the street and I become to think in terms of my luck.
>> His philosophy encourages me to pick up trash on the street which I now think of as luck. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141676 Are there specific rules for smoking areas? Give me some... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 701
141675 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 816
141674 What are your New Year\'s goals? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 602
141673 If you had to live off convenience store food for a day, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 807
141672 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 658
141671 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 579
141670 Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 834
141669 Her handicraft ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 401
141668 What are you worried about? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 751
141667 Give 5 positive statements to about you. ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 3
141666 Do you prefer long trips or short trips? What are the benefits... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141665 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141664 dance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141663 performing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141662 change ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141661 If you had a million dollars, would you still work? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 2
141660 If you could work from anywhere in the world for a year, where... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 2
141659 Which is a better choice, travelling alone or travelling with... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 522
141658 Have you ever complained about the food or service in a... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2
141657 Write about Christmas days plans. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 628

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04