¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did you stop going to church ?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-02-17 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church.
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Woah! I haven't expected that. 
Anyway, I'm glad to know how you met and the relationship that you had. 
Thank you for sharing something personal.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
>>Correct
OR: The writing homework reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.

My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
>>My ex-wife was Catholic, but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church. 
>>When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a date with her at catholic church. 
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
>>And I was gradually interested in Roman Catholicism not only because it was my lover's religion but also because people who believed in Roman Catholicism were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
>>And then when I decided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a Catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
OR: In order to marry her, I had to be baptized and be a Catholic. 
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
>>I accepted her requirement and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory Catholic course, but I was not a real Catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
>>I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere was very calm and solemn, but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
OR: I liked the church atmosphere and the people I met in church; however, I wasn't a believer

After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
>>After I got married, I tried to go to a Catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
>>Correct
OR: There were times when I tried to go to church alone when my ex-wife left me.

I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.
>>
I still like the Catholic church people and the atmosphere.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141457 what are some common reasons people feel guilty? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 711
141456 Who is responsible for the care of your health? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 716
141455 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 745
141454 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141453 Is having a friend important? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 608
141452 Your efforts will never betray you ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 545
141451 How do you feel when you learn something new? Does it make you... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141450 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 564
141449 What¡¯s your favorite dessert to order when eating out? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141448 What¡¯s your go-to breakfast when you¡¯re in a rush? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141447 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 705
141446 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 791
141445 What does \'first impressions matter\' mean? Do you agree? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141444 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 760
141443 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141442 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141441 Would you rather stay over at a super fancy mansion or a cozy... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 567
141440 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 584
141439 Page.9 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141438 What made you interested in doing Mixed Martial Arts? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04