¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did you stop going to church ?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-02-17 211

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church.
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Woah! I haven't expected that. 
Anyway, I'm glad to know how you met and the relationship that you had. 
Thank you for sharing something personal.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
>>Correct
OR: The writing homework reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.

My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
>>My ex-wife was Catholic, but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church. 
>>When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a date with her at catholic church. 
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
>>And I was gradually interested in Roman Catholicism not only because it was my lover's religion but also because people who believed in Roman Catholicism were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
>>And then when I decided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a Catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
OR: In order to marry her, I had to be baptized and be a Catholic. 
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
>>I accepted her requirement and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory Catholic course, but I was not a real Catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
>>I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere was very calm and solemn, but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
OR: I liked the church atmosphere and the people I met in church; however, I wasn't a believer

After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
>>After I got married, I tried to go to a Catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
>>Correct
OR: There were times when I tried to go to church alone when my ex-wife left me.

I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.
>>
I still like the Catholic church people and the atmosphere.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141494 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 702
141493 Would you opt for a relaxing weekend or an active one? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1028
141492 How do you make your routine interesting? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1
141491 l¡®m sorry ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1
141490 Do you believe in superstitions? Do you think Friday the 13th is... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 2
141489 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 625
141488 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 731
141487 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 523
141486 bad day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1
141485 How do you prepare your videos? Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 537
141484 What other things do you want from your government to do for the... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 930
141483 Q) What do you think your country could do to improve music... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 0
141482 ¡±How musical instruments play an important role in expressing... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 951
141481 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1
141480 How important is it to get along with co-workers? Is it a good... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 1
141479 The famous protest ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 802
141478 Page.11 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 638
141477 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 827
141476 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 686
141475 1.What makes you happy? 2.What makes you sad? 3.What makes you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-13 652

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04