¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2025-02-11 373

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing. When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain. We could see a lot of stars there. Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky." When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view. I was really impressive even I was a child. After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now. Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club. I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever. At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope. It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon^^
Thank you for sharing your answer. 
It seems like those two things are the biggest part of your life these days. 
_T. SHAY^^
***

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing.
>>Correct
OR: Stargazing is another thing that I'm interested in.

When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
>>When I was young, I once went to my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
We could see a lot of stars there. 
>>Correct
OR: That place is a good place to see many stars at night.
Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky."
>>Once my dad told me at night, "Just come out and look at the sky.'
When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
>>
When I was looking up at the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
I was really impressive even I was a child.
>>I was really impressed even as a child.
After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now.
>>Correct
OR: I've been interested in stargazing ever since then.
Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club.
>>
Also, at my university stargazing club, I learned how to use a telescope to see the stars.
I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever.
>>
I used to stargaze with my club member, and it's one of the best experiences in my life ever.
At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope.
>>
At this time, even though I'm busy studying and no time for stargazing with a telescope, sometimes I look up at the clear sky at night and just gaze at the stars without a telescope.
It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.
>>It makes me feel comfortable and calm.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140165 30sep2024 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1409
140164 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1076
140163 If you had an extra hour each day, what hobby would you spend it... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 987
140162 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 0
140161 Does music have the power to change your mood? How does music... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1323
140160 Is it more important to be liked or respected? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1115
140159 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140158 Should holidays be spread evenly throughout the year, or is it... Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1088
140157 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140156 Sep 27th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1274
140155 What are the advantages and disadvantages of solo travel? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1265
140154 What part of your day do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140153 What are the benefits of having hobbies? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140152 Q)What are the advantages of working for a small company? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140151 What are some annoying things that your friends do? How do you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1237
140150 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1151
140149 How would the world look if everyone had the same talents? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1449
140148 enjoy change or not_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140147 enjoy change or not ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140146 The difference of \'borrow\' and \'lend\' ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1144

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04