¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2025-02-11 369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing. When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain. We could see a lot of stars there. Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky." When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view. I was really impressive even I was a child. After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now. Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club. I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever. At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope. It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon^^
Thank you for sharing your answer. 
It seems like those two things are the biggest part of your life these days. 
_T. SHAY^^
***

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing.
>>Correct
OR: Stargazing is another thing that I'm interested in.

When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
>>When I was young, I once went to my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
We could see a lot of stars there. 
>>Correct
OR: That place is a good place to see many stars at night.
Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky."
>>Once my dad told me at night, "Just come out and look at the sky.'
When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
>>
When I was looking up at the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
I was really impressive even I was a child.
>>I was really impressed even as a child.
After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now.
>>Correct
OR: I've been interested in stargazing ever since then.
Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club.
>>
Also, at my university stargazing club, I learned how to use a telescope to see the stars.
I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever.
>>
I used to stargaze with my club member, and it's one of the best experiences in my life ever.
At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope.
>>
At this time, even though I'm busy studying and no time for stargazing with a telescope, sometimes I look up at the clear sky at night and just gaze at the stars without a telescope.
It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.
>>It makes me feel comfortable and calm.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140197 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1212
140196 If I could be reborn as an animal... ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1185
140195 What would you do if your best friend stold something from you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1035
140194 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1285
140193 What¡¯s the most important date in your calendar and why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1072
140192 My motto of life µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1330
140191 Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1170
140190 Which place or country would you like to visit at least once in... Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1190
140189 Yes ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1
140188 What are the advantages of living in a city? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 0
140187 What is one hobby you¡¯ve always wanted to try but haven¡¯t yet? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1299
140186 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1269
140185 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1123
140184 What is your favorite day of the week and why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 5
140183 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 1348
140182 This is short essay about Korean greetings culture! ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-02 2
140181 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 0
140180 Which is a better way to spend your holiday, go away on vacation... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1299
140179 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1477
140178 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1369

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04