¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did the plane crash in Jeju?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-01-02 111

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
😢

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night's sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     

                             
                                    Why did the plane crash in Jeju?


First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
>> First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan Airport. Many experts say the landing gear broke down or malfunctioned but some people think it's because of a bird strike.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141724 How will you achieve your goals? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2024-12-31 141
141723 How can the accident at Jeju Air be related to your course... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 617
141722 Provide at least five (5) adjectives that you can use to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 126
141721 About dream Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 129
141720 Which do you prefer among these three to live in : an urban,... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 127
141719 December is almost over. What three adjectives best describe... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 127
141718 What do you think of the drama trend in korea? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141717 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 126
141716 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 133
141715 goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141714 enjoy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141713 instrument ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141712 It\'s the Christmas season. Is it common in your family to give... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141711 Have you ever had a big fight with your sister? If not, what... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141710 If you are that person from the dialogue, will you charge your... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141709 What¡¯s your biggest hope or goal for the New Year? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 136
141708 HOMEWORK: How did you spend your New Year? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 6
141707 The movie which influenced me the most ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 128
141706 What¡¯s your favorite thing to do when you¡¯re together with... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141705 If you could switch jobs with someone for a day, who would it be... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04