¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did the plane crash in Jeju?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-01-02 112

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
😢

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night's sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     

                             
                                    Why did the plane crash in Jeju?


First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
>> First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan Airport. Many experts say the landing gear broke down or malfunctioned but some people think it's because of a bird strike.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141744 Why did the plane crash in Jeju? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 112
141743 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141742 20 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 117
141741 30 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 113
141740 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141739 Spend your time on good activities ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141738 How can you convince someone to stop smoking? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 113
141737 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 126
141736 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141735 What is the most popular place in your country? Describe it. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 111
141734 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate, and... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 111
141733 Describe a place that makes you feel happy and explain why it¡¯s... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 112
141732 What are your new year\'s resolutions? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 112
141731 How do companies in your country treat sick workers? Do... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 3
141730 How do you plan to stay motivated in continuing or doing your... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 134
141729 New Year beats inertia ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 121
141728 What¡¯s one change you want to make in your daily routine for... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 120
141727 Dear Gemma, I took a mistake!!! ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 585
141726 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141725 What schoolwork do you enjoy doing? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-01 130

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04