¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-03 573

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

***********************
HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Education is good method for personal ambitions. It needs more information to success, and more information needs studing.
But on the other hand, it is good element of development beneficial to society.
There are all right answer, anybody don't say that other opinion are wrong. But, I think education is stronger society side.
If there is only personal ambition, many nations waste a lot of time and money.
The reason that they do compulsory education is that it helps the development of the country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~! ^^ Great job! Your essay clearly shows your understanding of the dispute and its key issues, and you explained everything in an easy-to-follow manner.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Education is good method for personal ambitions.

>>> Education is a valuable tool for achieving personal goals.

It needs more information to success, and more information needs studying.

>>> It requires knowledge to succeed, and to acquire knowledge, studying is necessary.  

But on the other hand, it is good element of development beneficial to society.

>>> On the other hand, education is a key factor in societal development and benefits everyone.
There are all right answer, anybody don't say that other opinion are wrong. 

>>> All opinions are valid; no one is saying that other viewpoints are wrong.

But, I think education is stronger society side.

>>> However, I believe education is a key strength for society.

If there is only personal ambition, many nations waste a lot of time and money.

>>> If people focus solely on personal ambition, many nations end up wasting time and money.

The reason that they do compulsory education is that it helps the development of the country.

>>> Compulsory education helps with the country's development. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138747 What are the advantages of living in a city? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138746 How important is having a daily routine for you? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138745 Is advertising really necessary in today¡¯s society? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138744 Who is your favorite celebrity, and why? Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 562
138743 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138742 Do you ever get angry with yourself? Why? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 667
138741 What are some health problems you have/had? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 642
138740 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 3
138739 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 710
138738 Hobby ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 646
138737 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 654
138736 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138735 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138734 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 610
138733 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 1
138732 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 695
138731 Think your school life as lesson ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 0
138730 Do you ever get really angry with yourself? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 676
138729 July 22th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 699
138728 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-24 845

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04