¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-01 658

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?

I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know. We just type on a small screen. We don't look at books or listen to experts. They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cell phones has more bad effects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! It's great to see you dedicating time to your homework again. I really appreciate your effort, and I hope you find value in your writing process. Keep up the fantastic work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe that owning a cell phone can have negative effects.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know.
>>> With cell phones, we often stop thinking critically and neglect the effort to understand what we don¡¯t know.
We just type on a small screen. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We don't look at books or listen to experts. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> We don't read books or listen to experts. 
They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
>>> They can end up in accidents by believing and copying incorrect information.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cellphones has more bad effects.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Although there are benefits, I think cell phones have more negative effects.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139967 The number of \"likes\" ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 824
139966 Homework : Do you like cooking? What\'s your favorite meal to... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 5
139965 What do you think is the difference between a blind date and an... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 0
139964 What challenges do people with disability face? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 683
139963 Have you ever been so drunk you can\'t remember what you did?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 605
139962 A corporate culture of drinking a lot ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 713
139961 How does your family celebrate Chuseok? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139960 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139959 The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 682
139958 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139957 Which is better, a big family or a small family? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 694
139956 What do you want to do this coming weekend? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 895
139955 This meaning to beauty is in the eye of the beholder Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 679
139954 What are the benefits and drawbacks of always making an effort... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 574
139953 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 641
139952 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 651
139951 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139950 Tell me about your holiday plans. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139949 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 2
139948 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04