¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-01 652

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?

I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know. We just type on a small screen. We don't look at books or listen to experts. They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cell phones has more bad effects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! It's great to see you dedicating time to your homework again. I really appreciate your effort, and I hope you find value in your writing process. Keep up the fantastic work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe that owning a cell phone can have negative effects.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know.
>>> With cell phones, we often stop thinking critically and neglect the effort to understand what we don¡¯t know.
We just type on a small screen. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We don't look at books or listen to experts. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> We don't read books or listen to experts. 
They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
>>> They can end up in accidents by believing and copying incorrect information.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cellphones has more bad effects.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Although there are benefits, I think cell phones have more negative effects.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140006 What do you need right now? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 477
140005 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 522
140004 It can\'t be called sport without safety. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 567
140003 homework for Sep 23 ¼­*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 804
140002 Homework À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 536
140001 How important are cosmetics ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 588
140000 Which websites are popular among the younger generation? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 1
139999 The pros of getting a prescription ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 960
139998 What are your retirement plans? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 606
139997 What are the things that you care less about now? How did your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 636
139996 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 788
139995 What do you do when you see someone in danger? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139994 Page 20. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139993 Sep 20th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 628
139992 What do you like least about Chuseok? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 2
139991 Why do you think some people spend money on buying souvenirs... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1
139990 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 3
139989 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139988 Have you even seen falling stars? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 635
139987 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 614

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04