¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-09-05 114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
All parents have to know where and who their child do.
I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your edited essay, Jimmy. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good evening there!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                         Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.


Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
>> Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't, it is dangerous.

All parents have to know where and who their child do.
>> All parents have to know where their children are and who they're with. 

I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.
>> I always ask permission from my parents when I have appointments with my friends.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138519 Iion ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 250
138518 How do you define success? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 240
138517 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 320
138516 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 1
138515 2024.07.15 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 166
138514 Alcohol ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 226
138513 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 1
138512 What are the qualities or characteristics that every leader... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 0
138511 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 238
138510 What are you planning to accomplish this year ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 153
138509 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 1
138508 How observant are you of other people\'s body language? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 201
138507 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 215
138506 2024.07.15 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 2
138505 Do you think playing Lego is educational? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 189
138504 Q) Why is nature important? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 1
138503 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 194
138502 July 12th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 184
138501 Homework ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 165
138500 difficult task/project at work ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-15 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04