¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-09-05 112

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
All parents have to know where and who their child do.
I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your edited essay, Jimmy. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good evening there!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                         Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.


Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
>> Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't, it is dangerous.

All parents have to know where and who their child do.
>> All parents have to know where their children are and who they're with. 

I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.
>> I always ask permission from my parents when I have appointments with my friends.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138556 No man is an island. ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 8
138555 When do you feel happy the most? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 187
138554 HOMEWORK 07.17.2024 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 4
138553 HOMEWORK FOR 07.16.2024 WRITING TASK: What are valid reasons for... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 4
138552 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 178
138551 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 255
138550 What was your first day at work like? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 5
138549 Have you ever had an interesting or memorable experience while... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 178
138548 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 3
138547 16.July.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2
138546 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 190
138545 2024.07.16 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 173
138544 sacrifice ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 236
138543 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2
138542 How do you convince yourself not to give up? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 161
138541 What is the most important sense for you among the five senses?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 192
138540 What kind of TV programs do Korean kids watch these days?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 210
138539 Ice cream ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 172
138538 Has your boss ever told you to do something unethical? Did you... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 194
138537 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 197

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04