¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it bette

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-08-25 505

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

II've been to the field, but I haven't been to the groud. I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Here's your corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~


                   

                         Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it better than watching on TV? If not, would you want to go and watch there? Why?



I've been to the field, but I haven't been to the ground. 
>> OR: I've watched a game at a sports field, but not at a stadium. 

I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
>> I think watching at a sports stadium was more fun than on TV.

I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.
>> It's more fun because I can see the soccer players in person. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137054 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 601
137053 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 784
137052 please write your expectations from the class and from the... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2
137051 Which are more useful, legs or arms? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 1
137050 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 768
137049 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 568
137048 Is it important to learn slang or swearwords in English? Why or... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 1
137047 What are the advantages and disadvantages of fast food? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 513
137046 2024.05.08 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 914
137045 How do you judge food? By taste, appearance, smell, or feel? Can... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 851
137044 Lost trust ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 755
137043 Dessert ÀÌ*³ë ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 429
137042 Should music lyrics be rated similar to the way movies are rated? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 522
137041 Homework Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 522
137040 Is money really the root of all evil? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 572
137039 How do you keep yourself updated? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 565
137038 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137037 the most dangerous job ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 660
137036 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2
137035 annoy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04