¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it bette

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-08-25 503

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

II've been to the field, but I haven't been to the groud. I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Here's your corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~


                   

                         Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it better than watching on TV? If not, would you want to go and watch there? Why?



I've been to the field, but I haven't been to the ground. 
>> OR: I've watched a game at a sports field, but not at a stadium. 

I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
>> I think watching at a sports stadium was more fun than on TV.

I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.
>> It's more fun because I can see the soccer players in person. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137094 Among those countries you\'ve visited, what custom or tradition... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137093 Describe yourself as a learner ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137092 2024.05.10 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137091 Aside from your work, what are the things that will make you... ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 643
137090 my thought about historical movies ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 701
137089 2024.05.09 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 594
137088 When someone invites you to a birthday, do you go there one time? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 875
137087 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 699
137086 May 8th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 561
137085 Some pieces of art sell for millions of dollars. Why are some... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1
137084 Do you think that being a cabin crew is easier than being a chef? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137083 What are the latest trends in your country? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 4
137082 What situation will interrupt you from focusing on things? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 5
137081 Do you think the ambience is important in restaurants? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 478
137080 After the betrayal ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 439
137079 Describe a photograph you like ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137078 What¡¯s the most challenging thing about having a pet? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137077 Are you body conscious or health conscious? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 848
137076 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 573
137075 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 626

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04