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homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-08-20 80

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Are you an ambitious person? What career goals do you have?

I used to have ambitions. I wanted to be a person who is good at studying and has a healthy body. So I studied hard and exercised hard. As a result, I got good grades and my body was very thin. But after working, I met a world different from that i immagine. and so there were many setbacks and difficulties. Society was sharper than I thought. I'm going to start my social life again now, but I'm afraid. Now I want to live safely
like other . this is my career goal to meet my fit job and endure it and do it well like others.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's one more corrected composition, Mi Jin. Please take a look at the revisions below. 
Good evening to you there and speak to you again tomorrow!   

Cheers,
Jean~~



                          Are you an ambitious person? What career goals do you have?


I used to have ambitions. 
>> OR: I used to be ambitious. 

I wanted to be a person who is good at studying and has a healthy body. 
>> OR: I hoped to be well-educated and healthy. 

So I studied hard and exercised hard. 
>> OR: That's why I was a studious student and did exercises.  

As a result, I got good grades and my body was very thin. 
>> CORRECT~~

But after working, I met a world different from that i immagine. and so there were many setbacks and difficulties.
>> But after working, I met a world different from what I imagined and so I encountered many setbacks and difficulties.

Society was sharper than I thought. I'm going to start my social life again now, but I'm afraid. 
>> CORRECT~~

Now I want to live safely
like other . 
>> I now want to just live safely like others. 

this is my career goal to meet my fit job and endure it and do it well like others.
>> My career goal is to find a job that fits me, endure the difficulties, and do it well like others. 

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