¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of teen\'s curfew

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-07-30 228

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew. If you are teen, do you have a curfew? If you have, are you satisfied with it? I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? it is serious problem in Korea. Teens are exposed at this easily. So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. So, we should protect them by using curfew.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for this well-thought out response to the question. The world has become so dangerous that stricter rules become necessary to protect not only the youth, but humanity in general. Let us contribute to a safer society by doing our part of obeying rules. Let's talk again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew.
>> CORRECT
 If you are teen, do you have a curfew? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, are you satisfied with it?
>> CORRECT
 I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. 
>>  I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also among adults.
However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
>> CORRECT
OR >> However, I think curfew should exist for various reasons. 
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. 
>> CORRECT
Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Do you know the terrible crime in Korea called the 'Senseless Crimes"?
it is serious problem in Korea. 
>> It is a serious problem in Korea. 
Teens are exposed at this easily.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Teens are vulnerable to this. 
So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
>> So, if curfew is applied to teens, the victims of crime incidents will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. 
>> Second, teen should learn discipline and obey the rules in the society.
In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. 
>> In societies all over the world. discipline among members is natural.
And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. 
>> And I think curfew is the first step of discipline. 
If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
>> If teens have curfews, they will know why they should obey the rules, hence, making it  easy to protect the various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. 
>> CORRECT
So, we should protect them by using curfew.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138630 Tell me about the movie you have seen recently.- simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 240
138629 What does ¡°No man is an island¡± imply? - simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 171
138628 When you visit new places, what do you like to do? - simi ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 169
138627 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 159
138626 2024.07.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-20 196
138625 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 203
138624 What was your first day at work like? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 180
138623 White lies ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 211
138622 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138621 How do you try to find time for yourself and your loved ones... ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138620 HOMEWORK FOR 07.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What are some common... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138619 What makes a good parent? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 188
138618 Homework empty ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 5
138617 2024.07.19 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138616 July 17th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 170
138615 Describe a photo or work of art in as much detail as possible. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 165
138614 Page.25 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138613 joyride ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138612 Adventage and disadventage of my generation ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 220
138611 Busan as a good vacation place in Korea. °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 168

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04