무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The positive side of teen\'s curfew

작성자: 손*희
2024-07-30 223

회원님의 영작문

I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew. If you are teen, do you have a curfew? If you have, are you satisfied with it? I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? it is serious problem in Korea. Teens are exposed at this easily. So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. So, we should protect them by using curfew.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Hana! Thank you for this well-thought out response to the question. The world has become so dangerous that stricter rules become necessary to protect not only the youth, but humanity in general. Let us contribute to a safer society by doing our part of obeying rules. Let's talk again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew.
>> CORRECT
 If you are teen, do you have a curfew? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, are you satisfied with it?
>> CORRECT
 I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. 
>>  I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also among adults.
However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
>> CORRECT
OR >> However, I think curfew should exist for various reasons. 
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. 
>> CORRECT
Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Do you know the terrible crime in Korea called the 'Senseless Crimes"?
it is serious problem in Korea. 
>> It is a serious problem in Korea. 
Teens are exposed at this easily.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Teens are vulnerable to this. 
So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
>> So, if curfew is applied to teens, the victims of crime incidents will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. 
>> Second, teen should learn discipline and obey the rules in the society.
In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. 
>> In societies all over the world. discipline among members is natural.
And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. 
>> And I think curfew is the first step of discipline. 
If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
>> If teens have curfews, they will know why they should obey the rules, hence, making it  easy to protect the various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. 
>> CORRECT
So, we should protect them by using curfew.
>> CORRECT

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138669 Do you enjoy meeting new people? 이*희 완료 2024-07-22 166
138668 How long do you spend looking at one website? Have you ever... 박*은 완료 2024-07-22 179
138667 Do you think it is good for siblings to share a bedroom? 최*영 완료 2024-07-22 1
138666 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-07-22 151
138665 Do you remember the first time you saw snow? How did you react? 이*윤 완료 2024-07-22 173
138664 good manners in korea 강*수 완료 2024-07-22 139
138663 HOMEWORK FOR 07.22.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you decide on your... 임*지 완료 2024-07-22 2
138662 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... 현* 완료 2024-07-22 164
138661 What are acceptable reasons for missing an appointment? 현* 완료 2024-07-22 163
138660 What was your first day at work like? 현* 완료 2024-07-22 184
138659 How frequently do you look at yourself in the mirror? How often... 현* 완료 2024-07-22 152
138658 How to decrease the crime rate 한*자 완료 2024-07-22 6
138657 Inside 2 권*희 완료 2024-07-22 151
138656 Do you usually share your problems with your friends? 최*정 완료 2024-07-22 2
138655 What do you think of high-end luxury brands? 최*정 완료 2024-07-22 4
138654 homework 이*수 완료 2024-07-22 198
138653 What do you think of the idea of naming babies after their... 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 1
138652 Right now, what is your concept of family? 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 1
138651 List down at least 5 things you expect to see and do in London. 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 2
138650 Homwork 신*종 완료 2024-07-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]