¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-07-10 935

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How many inventions are there ever?
I searched for them online.
There are so many them over the world,
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
Make sure you use direct and simple sentences.
Make your point clear and avoid using sentences that are too long and confusing.
Take note of the sentence patterns below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
How many inventions are there ever?
>> Correct
I searched for them online.
>> Correct
There are so many them over the world,
>> There are so many of them all over the world.
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
>> Some of them like fire, money and wagon wheel are great inventions in modern civilization.
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
>> However, personally, electricity is the greatest invention that contributed to the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
>> Correct
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
>> I am also sure that it led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137129 Is time manament important? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1191
137128 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 981
137127 2024.05.10 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1359
137126 Page.12 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137125 homework Á¶*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137124 Have you ever seen a piece of art that affected you strongly?... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137123 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1688
137122 When do you think you¡¯ll stop learning? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1134
137121 HOMEWORK FOR 05/13 ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 6
137120 Do you prefer to eat in the same restaurant or explore new ones? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1159
137119 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137118 When was the last time you thought you were missing half of your... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 5
137117 My future ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1301
137116 Make three sentences using the word ESTABLISH. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137115 What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting rather than... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 1164
137114 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 4
137113 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 1543
137112 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 0
137111 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 0
137110 How to explain tardiness at work. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-12 1287

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04