¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-07-10 932

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How many inventions are there ever?
I searched for them online.
There are so many them over the world,
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
Make sure you use direct and simple sentences.
Make your point clear and avoid using sentences that are too long and confusing.
Take note of the sentence patterns below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
How many inventions are there ever?
>> Correct
I searched for them online.
>> Correct
There are so many them over the world,
>> There are so many of them all over the world.
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
>> Some of them like fire, money and wagon wheel are great inventions in modern civilization.
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
>> However, personally, electricity is the greatest invention that contributed to the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
>> Correct
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
>> I am also sure that it led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137166 2024.05.13 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1531
137165 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 2
137164 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 0
137163 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 0
137162 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1125
137161 What is the weakness that prevents you from reaching your goals? Ȳ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1107
137160 Hello, I\'m haeun. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1361
137159 Tulips? ÀÌ*³ë ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1114
137158 My town ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 953
137157 Homwework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1260
137156 The possible causes for having a vice ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1051
137155 How will you differentiate the music of the past from the music... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1477
137154 What was your favorite book when you were a kid? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 0
137153 How well do photographs capture special moments? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 0
137152 Describe your favorite seafood dish. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1192
137151 What is good about buying something? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1437
137150 Do you think that History subject is important to us or not? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 787
137149 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137148 Loving myself ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137147 When you do something unfamiliar for the first time, how do you... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04