¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-18 285

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?

When I was young the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
These days, people don't go outside often.
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think online shopping is more convenient than traditional shopping?


When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded people.
>> When I was young, the shopping malls and traditional markets in my neighborhood are crowded with people.
But, these days, many people use online malls.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> But, these days, many people use online stores.
There are many reason why online malls is popular.
>> There are many reasons why online malls are popular.
Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can shopping anywhere wherever I am.
>> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anywhere wherever I am.
OR >> Typically, if I have a smartphone or computer, I can do online shopping anytime, anywhere.
Next reason is the online malls are cheaper than offline malls.
>> CORRECT!
In addition, these days deliveries are too fast.
>> CORRECT!
That's why many people more prefer online shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In one side, I feel It leaves a lot to be desired.
>> CORRECT!
These days, people don't go outside often.
>> CORRECT!
Because they feel tired of meeting people.
>> It's because they feel tired of meeting people.
And trying to solve everything use to online.
>> And, people try to solve everything online.
So I think many people's emotions got cold.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138598 Do you think reading the newspaper should read the news? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 575
138597 Do you ever want to have your own cafe? Why or why not? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 406
138596 What would you choose if you could have a senses-related... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 503
138595 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 478
138594 What¡¯s the longest you¡¯d wait for a restaurant table? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 2
138593 What do you like most about croffles? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138592 Tell me about your favorite movie or TV show. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 387
138591 The best age to settle down ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 360
138590 Do you agree or disagree with Wendy\'s opinion? Explain your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 2
138589 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 451
138588 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 4
138587 tourist spot ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138586 how much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138585 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 382
138584 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 532
138583 Why do some people collect things? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 7
138582 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 3
138581 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 545
138580 How accessible is the subway for people with disabilities in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 578
138579 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 459

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04