¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

keeping pets for children

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ÈÆ
2024-04-11 383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think keeping pets for children is good for children. First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. Also they will made children's mental healthy. second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. I read a reports about allergies. It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Se Hun~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework. It was nice to read your essay~! Keep writing and learning! Have a great day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think keeping pets for children is good for children.
OR>>> I think keeping pets for children is good for them.
First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. 
>>> First, they could learn about [ the ] importance of life by raising pets. 
The pets will become children's friend, and they will be always their side. 
>>> The pets will become [ the ] children's friend, and they will be always [ by ] their side. 
Also they will made children's mental healthy.
>>> [Moreover], they can help with children's mental health.
Second, pets can build children's resistance of allergies. 
>>> Second, pets can build children's allergy resistant.
 I read a reports about allergies.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
 It said children who didn't have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
>>> It is said that children who don't have pets get allergies easily than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children's mental, also physical health.
>>> In conclusion, pets may benefit kids' physical as well as mental health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135284 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2
135283 Do you like the apartment you\'re staying now? Why or why not? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 503
135282 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 277
135281 A joyride ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 705
135280 wait what ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 491
135279 my birthday plan ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 535
135278 2023.03.5 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 0
135277 What is the best age to travel? Can children appreciat the... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 337
135276 Discuss the importance of friendship in your life. ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2
135275 medicine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 1
135274 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it healthy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 1
135273 What do you like buying in the mall? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 280
135272 My dream house ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 316
135271 Do you like at dinosaurs skeletons and bones in museum or... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 276
135270 Bullies ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 408
135269 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 480
135268 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 280
135267 1. Why did you decide to apply for this position? ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 442
135266 In your opinion, is it better to specialize in a specific area... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 482
135265 HOMEWORK FOR 03.06.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you stay motivated... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04