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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 843

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
131924 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-10-25 1
131923 What questions would you ask a homeless person? 에*미 완료 2023-10-25 3
131922 Find things that make me happy 권*일 완료 2023-10-25 1
131921 Write about your happiest memory in not less than 3 sentences. 임*호 완료 2023-10-25 0
131920 Do you think that your country has a strong military force and... 이*주 완료 2023-10-25 1
131919 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-10-25 520
131918 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “Are you afraid... 앨* 완료 2023-10-25 1
131917 Homework 정*환 완료 2023-10-25 637
131916 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-10-25 827
131915 homework 안*연 완료 2023-10-25 803
131914 How happy are you with your English level? How do you describe... 김*순 완료 2023-10-25 885
131913 Who are the world’s biggest war criminals? Write about one... 이*우 완료 2023-10-25 876
131912 WRITING TASK: Describe the last picnic you had. What was it like? 임*지 완료 2023-10-25 3
131911 homework_231024 한*록 완료 2023-10-25 965
131910 Homework - \'How to overcome difficult times.\' 이*주 완료 2023-10-25 797
131909 Do you want to work in a medical field someday? Why or why not? 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 1046
131908 Do you believe in lifelong learning? Why or why not? 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 997
131907 homework 김*린 완료 2023-10-25 1
131906 The death of someone special 양*연 완료 2023-10-25 826
131905 \"Is it important to consider other people\'s opinions? Why or... 이*태 완료 2023-10-25 973

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