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서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 1825

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
133800 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-01-10 1411
133799 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-01-10 2
133798 Homework 강*하 완료 2024-01-10 1477
133797 homework 01.10 최*� 완료 2024-01-10 2247
133796 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-01-10 420
133795 1/8 homework 조*아 완료 2024-01-10 0
133794 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-01-10 2594
133793 Which mode of transportation do you think is the safest? How... 하*현 완료 2024-01-10 1
133792 Homework 공*우 완료 2024-01-10 1189
133791 In your opinion, what does \"stand tall\" mean? 김*희 완료 2024-01-10 1470
133790 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-01-10 1379
133789 Have you ever tried listening to foreign language music? How do... 하*현 완료 2024-01-10 1
133788 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-01-10 1784
133787 What famous foods from other countries would you like to try?... 하*현 완료 2024-01-10 1
133786 Do people use cosmetics because they lack confidence? 에*미 완료 2024-01-10 1
133785 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... 앨* 완료 2024-01-10 1
133784 Who is your real life superhero? 송*우 완료 2024-01-10 1320
133783 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... 최*정 완료 2024-01-10 1611
133782 What do you think are the qualities of being a good leader? 이*윤 완료 2024-01-10 1342
133781 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-01-10 1583

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