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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 655

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
133695 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-01-06 0
133694 Which city do you want to live in? 최*한 완료 2024-01-06 328
133693 Today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2024-01-06 454
133692 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... 신*섭 완료 2024-01-06 570
133691 Homework 김*담 완료 2024-01-06 214
133690 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-01-06 1
133689 Do you ever buy things and then think it was a mistake? 김*순 완료 2024-01-05 416
133688 What makes your family special? 문*현 완료 2024-01-05 345
133687 Keeping in touch with our loved ones 이*규 완료 2024-01-05 273
133686 Filling in blanks 김*율 완료 2024-01-05 352
133685 Free writing 김*율 완료 2024-01-05 388
133684 homework 01.05 최*� 완료 2024-01-05 389
133683 homework 김*현 완료 2024-01-05 297
133682 What\'s one thing you\'ll do to recharge and refresh for the... 에*미 완료 2024-01-05 1
133681 What is your ideal vacation? Why? 권*희 완료 2024-01-05 305
133680 homework 정*호 완료 2024-01-05 0
133679 homework 정*호 완료 2024-01-05 0
133678 Which one is easier, to be a follower or a leader? 이*윤 완료 2024-01-05 347
133677 Do you like wearing school uniforms? 박*현 완료 2024-01-05 370
133676 My weekend 정*미 완료 2024-01-05 0

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03
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04

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