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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 469

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
135419 Wrong advice 양*연 완료 2024-03-12 465
135418 Homework 장*희 완료 2024-03-12 2
135417 What do you do to get the things that you desire? 오*소 완료 2024-03-12 530
135416 homework 유*린 완료 2024-03-11 280
135415 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-03-11 2
135414 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-03-11 2
135413 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-03-11 281
135412 On the road 이*규 완료 2024-03-11 406
135411 homework 03.11 최*� 완료 2024-03-11 388
135410 What is the importance of kindness in everyday life? 황*은 완료 2024-03-11 592
135409 Homework 김*원 완료 2024-03-11 303
135408 2023.03.8 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-03-11 426
135407 Do you feel comfortable talking to a boss or client by phone?... 신*규 완료 2024-03-11 316
135406 2023.03.11 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-03-11 4
135405 Homework 이*준 완료 2024-03-11 238
135404 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-03-11 494
135403 Do you think teachers should be strict sometimes? 송*우 완료 2024-03-11 435
135402 Should we always do our best in everything that we do? 이*윤 완료 2024-03-11 394
135401 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you... 앨* 완료 2024-03-11 3
135400 How does facing and overcoming fears help people grow as... 에*미 완료 2024-03-11 1

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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