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서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 1690

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
139600 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-08-30 882
139599 8/30(Fri) homework 김*희 완료 2024-08-30 996
139598 Popularity 이*규 완료 2024-08-30 1029
139597 What was your memorable birthday? 이*윤 완료 2024-08-30 904
139596 8/29(Thu) homework 김*희 완료 2024-08-30 1067
139595 Do you think foreign language study should start as early as... 김*연 완료 2024-08-30 1
139594 second homework 최*연 완료 2024-08-30 975
139593 first homework 최*연 완료 2024-08-30 1079
139592 song represents me 김*일 완료 2024-08-30 1272
139591 what are the most challenging part of cleaning for you ? 박*호 완료 2024-08-30 1113
139590 What do you think of athletes who join the entertainment... 권*지 완료 2024-08-30 3
139589 When should you stop being honest? 권*지 완료 2024-08-30 1
139588 Are actors involved in sports more rich than ordinary actors? 권*지 완료 2024-08-30 2
139587 Q) Are you looking forward to your retirement? 최*영 완료 2024-08-30 932
139586 Should all medicine be free? 양*연 완료 2024-08-30 1038
139585 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-08-30 913
139584 Homework : How do people in your country usually greet each... 이*범 완료 2024-08-30 1089
139583 When are you most productive? 김*린 완료 2024-08-30 1141
139582 What activities do you tend to be lazy about? 임*미 완료 2024-08-30 976
139581 What are some common family duties? 최*정 완료 2024-08-30 3

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