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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 600

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
137812 HOMEWORK 주*민 완료 2024-06-13 495
137811 What are the potential benefits of drinking plant-based milk... 안*윤 완료 2024-06-13 531
137810 homework 이*수 완료 2024-06-13 504
137809 HOMEWORK FOR 06.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What comes to your mind... 임*지 완료 2024-06-13 3
137808 Why is it important to take pictures? 박*호 완료 2024-06-13 669
137807 The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on... 황*하 완료 2024-06-13 606
137806 Do you think skin color affects whether a person is regarded as... 황*은 완료 2024-06-13 556
137805 HOMEWORK 정*환 완료 2024-06-13 519
137804 Performance assessment 양*연 완료 2024-06-13 508
137803 What did you like about school when you were a child? 오*소 완료 2024-06-13 0
137802 homework 박*연 완료 2024-06-13 569
137801 What is your kind of success? 이*윤 완료 2024-06-13 585
137800 bad practice 임*준 완료 2024-06-12 483
137799 >> Are you a competitive person? Explain. 이*민 완료 2024-06-12 1
137798 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-06-12 2
137797 What celebrations do you really look forward to? Why? 김*기 완료 2024-06-12 473
137796 homework 06.12 최*� 완료 2024-06-12 499
137795 2024.06.12 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-06-12 0
137794 How have your customs and traditions changed from when you were... 김*환 완료 2024-06-12 575
137793 The English vowel sounds 이*규 완료 2024-06-12 467

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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