¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-03-03 331

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I think that leaving home country is good for me. But can have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee!^^ It's good to check your essay again! Thank you because you always remember to do your homework. Keep it up! Enjoy your the new semester too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think leaving my home country is good for me. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But can have a clear goal in mind.
>>> But [ I should ] have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
>>> If they [ won't think of developing ] their skill, they will [ fail ] [ in another ] country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
>>> And it is important to [ consider which country to go to.]
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
>>> For examples, [ if I won't develop my abilities, ] I can't go to good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.
>>> This situation requires a wise decision.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134487 No tips!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 591
134486 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 273
134485 I want to be pretty À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 357
134484 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 3
134483 Make up ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 457
134482 2023.02.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134481 avoid eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134480 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 433
134479 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 658
134478 What is there to be happy about in the world today? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134477 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1
134476 Would you rather be a unicorn or a dinosaur?Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 721
134475 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134474 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain an interesting conversation? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 4
134473 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134472 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 533
134471 Good traditions °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 581
134470 What should you bring for a trip? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 361
134469 Would you rather die in 20 years with no regrets or live to 100... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 373
134468 How would you introduce your country to foreigners? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 386

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04