¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-03-03 329

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I think that leaving home country is good for me. But can have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee!^^ It's good to check your essay again! Thank you because you always remember to do your homework. Keep it up! Enjoy your the new semester too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think leaving my home country is good for me. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But can have a clear goal in mind.
>>> But [ I should ] have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
>>> If they [ won't think of developing ] their skill, they will [ fail ] [ in another ] country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
>>> And it is important to [ consider which country to go to.]
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
>>> For examples, [ if I won't develop my abilities, ] I can't go to good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.
>>> This situation requires a wise decision.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134507 qweqweq Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 5
134506 dsad Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 5
134505 homework 2024-02-06 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 2
134504 What makes your Elementary school special? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 0
134503 The essential questions ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 511
134502 Describe your favorite place in detail. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 644
134501 hello kate~~ ±è*Çö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-02-06 1
134500 What other languages do you want to learn aside from English? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 828
134499 Have you accepted a gift that you didn\'t quite like? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 4
134498 What are the things you need when you go on a trip? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1
134497 What do people in your country collect? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1
134496 Do you support death penalty? Why or why not? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 379
134495 Describe something you could never give away. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 274
134494 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 471
134493 Politicians vs. Scientists ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 480
134492 Are you a stay-at-home person or a going-out person? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 315
134491 6 DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 445
134490 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 282
134489 Staying somewhere ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 368
134488 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 128

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04