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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is your reason for wanting to be a flight attendant?

작성자: 천*은
2024-02-21 934

회원님의 영작문

After graduated culinary school and worked in F&B field, I felt like I need more achievement and opportunity to work with diverse people.
I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and bring me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.
If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experience are gonna be perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experience.
Also, I think aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect people from all over the world and it would be never get boring.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Rachel!

The Food and Beverage department as well as being  a cabin crew are interrelated since they both deal with service and human relations. You are not changing your career totally. You are only adding more skills to what you already have. I think you are doing great at it.

Below, you can see very few grammar suggestions. Your sentences are long and meaningful as well as interconnected by correct transition words. There is also efficiency in your use of vocabulary words. You did a very good job!

Thank you for your diligence. See you again tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

After graduated culinary school and worked in F&B field, I felt like I need more achievement and opportunity to work with diverse people.
>> After I graduated in culinary school and worked in the F&B field, I felt like I need more achievements and opportunities to work with diverse people.

I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and bring me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.
>> I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and what brings me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.

If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experience are gonna be perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experience.
>> If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experiences are gonna be/ (going to be)  perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experiences. Very good sentence!

Also, I think aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect people from all over the world and it would be never get boring.
>> Also, I  think that the aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect with people from all over the world and it would be never get boring. Very good sentence!
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133746 Traditional food 고*호 완료 2024-01-09 1073
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133744 What is sucess for you? 이*현 완료 2024-01-09 969
133743 1.Which greeting kind of annoys you? 황*은 완료 2024-01-09 1095
133742 homework 김*린 완료 2024-01-09 2
133741 The best appointment 임*진 완료 2024-01-09 1059
133740 What does a perfect weekend look like to you? 정*미 완료 2024-01-09 0
133739 1/4 homework 노*희 완료 2024-01-09 3
133738 Homework : unit 18 박*나 완료 2024-01-09 5
133737 What I did on last Saturday 김*민 완료 2024-01-09 875
133736 How do you feel when you think you are not prepared for... 권*임 완료 2024-01-09 1
133735 What is the happiest moment that you have experienced with your... 문*현 완료 2024-01-08 796
133734 8.Jan homework do*eun 완료 2024-01-08 970
133733 homework 01.08 최*� 완료 2024-01-08 775
133732 Homework 하*림 완료 2024-01-08 1
133731 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-01-08 2
133730 Turning me off 이*규 완료 2024-01-08 1104
133729 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-01-08 109
133728 김*진 완료 2024-01-08 1055
133727 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-01-08 841

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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04

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