¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.08

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-08 736

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?

These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing something online?


These days, always of my purchases something from online shopping malls.
>> These days, all of my purchases are from online shopping malls.
The reason is that online malls has more advantages than disadvantages.
>> The reason is that online malls have more advantages than disadvantages.
I think the advantages of online malls are cheap price and delivery time.
>> I think the advantages of online malls are the cheap prices and fast deliveries.
The online malls products the price are definitely cheaper than offline stores.
>> The prices of products from online stores are definitely cheaper than the physical stores.
And in this case of delivery time, if I have lucky, sometimes I did my order in this morning and I can receive in the afternoon.
>> And in the case of delivery time, if I am lucky, sometimes when I put my order in the morning, I can receive it in the afternoon.
I think the reason why we can receive the my orders quickly that because South Korea has a small land.
>> I think the reason why I can receive my orders quickly is because South Korea has a small land area.
But, it's has also disadvantage.
>> But, it's has also disadvantages.
I can't check until I receive the goods.
>> CORRECT!
For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to size of clothes.
>> For example, if I buy the clothes online, sometimes fail to see the size of the clothes.
Also, sometimes different that there are colors, patterns, and quality.
>> Also, sometimes the colors, patterns, and quality are different.
In these case, I feel wasting the time to spent online and delivery fee it's need for the refund and return.
>> In this case, I feel like I'm wasting time to spend money for the online and delivery fee needed for the refund and exchange of the items.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133214 HOMEWORK FOR 12.13.2023 WRITING TASK: What are phone... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133213 The ideal society ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1323
133212 >>> Can you recall (without looking) who and what are on your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 5
133211 How to handle skipper? How it is different from sleepers? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 920
133210 Please try to remember what you did after your elementary... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133209 Having pets ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1089
133208 What is your dream vacation location? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133207 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1913
133206 13.Dec.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133205 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 7
133204 What situation excites and motivates you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1134
133203 If you were given a chance what would you choose, to change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133202 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1089
133201 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133200 What do you think is the most important thing in life? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133199 The things that I appreciate. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133198 What are the advantages of having a routine or schedule? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1322
133197 homework 12.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1066
133196 Holiday ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 3
133195 I would rather live in a tree house ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1161

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04