¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

superaged

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-12-15 1958

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the superaged society will drop social production ability.

The government should focus on the welfare and safty of the senior than challengable policies.

The young generation should be burden the senior's pention even they don't want to do.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily, it's a great day today!

I completely agree with your opinion that the government should prioritize the needs of the people. By doing so, it could help address the issue of low birth rates and other social problems. Sometimes, the government creates policies that they believe will benefit everyone, but in reality, it only serves to increase their popularity. 
Best regards, 
Aki.


I think that the superaged society will drop social production ability.
>>> CORRECT!

The government should focus on the welfare and safty of the senior than challengable policies.
>>> The government should focus on the welfare and safety of the seniors rather than challenging policies.

The young generation should be burden the senior's pention even they don't want to do.
>>> The young generation should burden the senior's pension even if they don't want to do it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128422 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2065
128421 The most dangerous disease ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2173
128420 May. 24 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1190
128419 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1706
128418 Homowork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1832
128417 Do you think that the education system is changing? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128416 We can\'t tame a wild animal as a pet. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128415 homework 05.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1321
128414 neighbor ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128413 World of Gossip ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1000
128412 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128411 Write about your favorite part of the movie The Super Mario... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128410 Why do people love junk food? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1340
128409 talk about the meal you last ate or had. Use as many adjectives... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1454
128408 Mary Kay Ash said: \"People are definitely a company¡¯s greatest... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 5
128407 Describe the most confident person you know ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1524
128406 The gift that I want to receive on my birthday ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1666
128405 What is your favorite cartoon character and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1207
128404 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1307
128403 What do you do to loosen up after a busy exhausting day? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1367

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04