¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2023-12-07 539

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. food diet
In order to increase the health, We have to decide a food diet.
It is much better eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
but, It's doesn't lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
Therefore, we have to eat foods containing protein to be healthy.

2. workout
It is good to go to the gym and exercise, but it costs a lot of money.
These days, more people watch videos and exercise at home.
It is good to workout use money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.

3. sleep
In order to be health, but It is important to sleep. The average adult sleep time is 8 hours,
and appropriate to sleep in 8-10 hours. If we sleep a lot,
skin gets better, and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Eunice!

1. food diet
In order to increase the health, We have to decide a food diet.
>>> In order to improve health, we have to decide a good diet.
It is much better eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
>>> It is much better to eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
but, It's doesn't lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
>>> However, it doesn't make us lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
Therefore, we have to eat foods containing protein to be healthy.
>>>  correct

2. workout
It is good to go to the gym and exercise, but it costs a lot of money.
>>> correct
These days, more people watch videos and exercise at home.
>>> correct
It is good to workout use money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.
>>> It is good to workout with the use of money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.
>>> It is good to spend money for working out, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.

3. sleep
In order to be health, but It is important to sleep. 
>>> In order to be healthy, it is important to sleep well. 
The average adult sleep time is 8 hours, and appropriate to sleep in 8-10 hours. 
>>> The average adult sleep time is 8 hours, and it's appropriate to sleep within 8-10 hours. 
If we sleep a lot, skin gets better, and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.
>>> If we sleep a lot, our skin gets better and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131184 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 2
131183 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 817
131182 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \" What makes... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131181 A stressful job with very high pay or a relaxing job with... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 469
131180 How do you protect your privacy at home as a young adult? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131179 HOMEWORK-230920 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131178 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 522
131177 WRITING TASK: Why is work etiquette important? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 593
131176 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 548
131175 The most dangerous country ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 594
131174 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 432
131173 What qualities do you look for in a good movie? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 618
131172 Can you name a movie or TV show that was filmed in your city or... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 0
131171 Are you a hard worker? What motivates you to work? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131170 Being risk taker ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 464
131169 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 368
131168 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131167 I don\'t like live the tallest building. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131166 What¡¯s the nicest thing you¡¯ve ever done for your friends? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131165 homework 09.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 388

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04