¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-29 661

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?

There are many kinds of raw food today.
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?


There are many kinds of raw food today.
>> CORRECT!
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
>> CORRECT!
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
>> CORRECT!
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
>> It's because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or well-cooked.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
>> And there are nutrients that we can get from eating raw food.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
>> But we have to be careful with eating raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
>> The biggest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
>> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it as soon as possible.
OR >> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it right away.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
>> CORRECT!
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.
>> So, if some people are worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132530 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1208
132529 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132528 Why do you think some people are not interested in working in... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1203
132527 Healthy Food And Unhealthy Food ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 984
132526 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132525 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1259
132524 What do you know about Australia\'s natural wonders? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1173
132523 Why is it that some people act differently in front of others? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 926
132522 What are the dangers of using SNS? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 557
132521 What do you think parents worry about when their kids start... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 564
132520 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132519 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132518 Why do you think there are so many different languages in the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132517 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132516 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 847
132515 In your opinion, what are the other problems in your country... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1324
132514 Do you think Korea has good or bad politics? How can you say so? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1313
132513 Are there any activities that you want to do with your kids... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1181
132512 Do you want to spend your leisure time alone or with friends?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 481
132511 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 895

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04