¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-29 1411

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?

There are many kinds of raw food today.
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?


There are many kinds of raw food today.
>> CORRECT!
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
>> CORRECT!
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
>> CORRECT!
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
>> It's because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or well-cooked.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
>> And there are nutrients that we can get from eating raw food.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
>> But we have to be careful with eating raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
>> The biggest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
>> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it as soon as possible.
OR >> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it right away.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
>> CORRECT!
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.
>> So, if some people are worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134194 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1334
134193 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 481
134192 Home work ÀÌ*µð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1060
134191 home work ÀÌ*µð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1
134190 What do you usually prepare during family gatherings? Why?... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1070
134189 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 0
134188 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1428
134187 What is the difference of Daejon and Seoul\'s transportation... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1122
134186 i want to try international food is.. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 884
134185 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 0
134184 I agree all of it. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 983
134183 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1118
134182 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1098
134181 1/23 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 2
134180 What do you think are the pros and cons of international... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1643
134179 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1
134178 homework 2024-01-25 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1
134177 Modern Technology is creating a single-world culture õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 969
134176 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1408
134175 stop ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 899

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04