¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2023-11-03 1884

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Here's for your homework:
[ESSAY]
In 3~5 sentences, answer the question below:
>> Would you fight for another country other than your own?

I've never imagined what if I fight for another country. If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. It's the other way of fighting with them. If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Geon!
Many thanks once again for sending it. Happy weekend there! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                  Would you fight for another country other than your own?



I've never imagined what if I fight for another country.
>> I've never imagined fighting for another country. 

If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. 
>> If there were other ways of providing aid aside from joining the war myself, then I would do it. I could pray for them, vocalize my support for them on social media, or provide monetary or material donations to their country. 

It's the other way of fighting with them. 
>> This is another method of fighting for and together with them. 

If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.
>> If I had the chance to participate in the war of other countries, I wouldn't fight for anyone other than my own nation. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131952 What role does empathy and understanding play when engaging in... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131951 you received a wrong order in a restaurant, would you say... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1165
131950 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1240
131949 What can you say about the English education system in your... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2014
131948 About my dream house. ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1668
131947 homework_231025 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1297
131946 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131945 Would you be interested in doing backpacking? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1843
131944 Terrible experience ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2043
131943 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131942 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131941 What is your favorite thing to do on social media? Explain ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 0
131940 Why are mountains important? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131939 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2
131938 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1
131937 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 4
131936 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 0
131935 tour ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2051
131934 After school ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 3181
131933 > Christmas was never celebrated in the past nor was it a... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-25 10

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04