¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2023-11-03 1066

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Here's for your homework:
[ESSAY]
In 3~5 sentences, answer the question below:
>> Would you fight for another country other than your own?

I've never imagined what if I fight for another country. If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. It's the other way of fighting with them. If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Geon!
Many thanks once again for sending it. Happy weekend there! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                  Would you fight for another country other than your own?



I've never imagined what if I fight for another country.
>> I've never imagined fighting for another country. 

If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. 
>> If there were other ways of providing aid aside from joining the war myself, then I would do it. I could pray for them, vocalize my support for them on social media, or provide monetary or material donations to their country. 

It's the other way of fighting with them. 
>> This is another method of fighting for and together with them. 

If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.
>> If I had the chance to participate in the war of other countries, I wouldn't fight for anyone other than my own nation. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130440 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2026
130439 To Introduce traditional places in Korea. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1078
130438 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130437 homework 08.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 897
130436 Would you rather eat a banana or a carrot? Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 730
130435 What are some acts of care that have a positive impact on the... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 599
130434 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130433 Would you rather ride a bicycle or go roller skating? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1033
130432 I think it\'s almost impossible for human rights are protected. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1403
130431 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 860
130430 Describe your school in one sentence. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130429 Do you prefer to make a complaint over the telephone or in... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 878
130428 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130427 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1037
130426 Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130425 The advantages and disadvantages of texting or sending messages È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1209
130424 What was the most exciting part of the concert? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130423 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130422 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1540
130421 What\'s your thought on cardiovascular exercise? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04